artoni: (Hm...)
artoni ([personal profile] artoni) wrote2012-08-15 11:59 am

Consideration/planning

Okay, so. Almost 100% secure at the internship again, had a dream that SURPRISE WEDS WON'T WORK but after rechecking email nope just no response yet. ATM the plan is to drive down Monday nights after school, head to Claudia's place and crash there, and then just drive back/forth to IDW, and then up Weds after my duty.

BASICALLY I'll be spending my money on gas instead of train tickets, along with wear/tear on the car. Honestly though since Rave gets better mileage than Deyo and I'll have more freedom with things rather than relying on Jason and the bus, I think this is a mostly equivalent tradeoff. I'll miss the train ride, but I won't miss the delays that happened from time to time. Not that...they aren't possible when I'm driving, but at least I'll have a bit more control over them.

(For my own reference; take the 5, not the 15. Also be more careful about how/when it's brought up, because it's been sounding like bragging and while I'm incredibly pleased about it I need to stop flaunting it even if I think I'm not because it's being taken that way.)

Have been having a lot of Boy Issues lately. It's pretty much just making me want to hole up and Never Date Again. Not that I have been, it's just...cementing my lack of urge to have any relationship, period. Anything other than friends, and even then, there's a lot of passive aggressiveness going on and I just wish that a lot of people I know online could live closer. :C I'm sure it's a situation where if I knew some online people better I'd figure out that people are people no matter what way you slice it, I just...people are hard. Socializing is hard. Weh weh weh weh. I'm not comfortable enough with myself to be comfortable with someone else, and even then, there's a lot about the way society views dating and pairs that I can't reconcile with my own feelings.

Finances are...not where I'd like to be. I need to get off my ass and sell the rest of my TF toys I have collecting dust, and be aggressive in getting rid of them. Not sure how much it'll net me, but it'll net me something, and I'll be that much closer to getting rid of my CC debt.

Having ups and down modding [community profile] re_alignment. For the most part, the game is an absolute blast and I'm happy people are having fun! I seriously thought it was going to bomb (and still am paranoid but I think it's the good paranoia? idk) but it seems to have taken off on its own, and I'm meeting some new people. c: There's a few things behind the scenes that I'm not so happy about but I know I'm blindly optimistic in the whole I WANT EVERYONE TO GET ALONG WEH WEH WEH. I hope they'll be able to settle their differences, or at least keep them to the point where I won't have to be a Bitch and put my foot down. I already messed up a little (and with me, little messups are enough to make me stress out for a while) and I'm trying to take it as a reminder to watch myself more closely. I just hope it hasn't done permanent damage.

Need to focus on other games, too. Apped my Sith Warrior/Marauder from TOR in to Singularity, and Vector's still chilling at CnC after two years. With him I need to get more active and get more steering in the place I want him to go at this point. Good news; relatively little phases him. Bad news; relatively little phases him. HE JUST DOESN'T HAVE THE CAPACITY TO GIVE MANY FRAKS, MAN, which is both good and bad as noted.

Not sure where I want to take Nemvoy at Sing. Snare - the Marauder - I'm still trying to figure out what I want with him other than to be Terrible and rediscovering how to play antagonists because damn they are fun.

Uh, what else. Not too much. NEED TO FOCUS ON WRITING MY OWN THINGS, TOO. Because going I CAN DO BETTER is nothing if I don't actually do better. 8U

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